Finding Balance Between Negativity and Realistic Positivity
Why does negativity captivate us?
Have you noticed how negative comments on social media, mistakes at work, or small setbacks linger in your mind more than successes? You’re not alone. Evolution has programmed us to focus on threats and dangers because they helped our ancestors survive on the savanna. Although we no longer face lions or other survival threats, our brains remain sensitive to negativity.
Psychologist Dr. Rick Hanson aptly describes how nature’s "design" does not always serve our modern lives:
“Mother Nature gave us brains that overestimate threats, underestimate opportunities, and undervalue resources. This was a great strategy for survival, but a terrible strategy for quality of life.”
Negativity can also be contagious. In groups, negative thinking often amplifies as we feed off each other’s thoughts. This makes understanding the power of negativity especially important in teamwork.
Why isn’t toxic positivity the solution?
When we try to counter the effects of negativity, we might swing to the opposite extreme – toxic positivity. This means an excessive focus on positivity that suppresses negative emotions and difficult experiences under the mantra of “think positive.” This is not only unrealistic but also harmful.
Toxic positivity denies humanity and forces us to smile even when we’re struggling. It prevents us from addressing difficult feelings and experiences, which are essential for growth. In teams, toxic positivity can create an environment where problems are swept under the rug because people fear “disrupting the positive atmosphere.”
Realistic positivity – the key to balance
Between negativity and toxic positivity lies realistic positivity. This means acknowledging reality, processing difficult emotions, and seeing possibilities even amid challenges. Realistic positivity does not deny negative feelings but gives them space while steering toward constructive thinking.
In teamwork, this means making room for fears and hopes while building a shared understanding of how to overcome challenges. Psychological safety is the foundation of all this – only in a safe environment can people share their feelings and thoughts openly.
How to bring realistic positivity into your team?
Here are three ways to cultivate a culture of realistic positivity in your team:
- Encourage open communication: Create space to discuss both successes and challenges. Ask team members what’s worrying them right now and ensure they know they don’t always have to be positive.
- Reward vulnerability: When someone shares a difficult experience or concern, thank them for it. This increases psychological safety and encourages others to be open as well.
- Lead by example: If you’re in a leadership position, don’t hide your struggles. Show that vulnerability is human and that it’s okay to talk about difficult things.
Realistic positivity doesn’t mean avoiding or rushing through difficult emotions but recognizing and addressing them in a way that fosters growth and shared understanding.
Would you like to learn more about bringing realistic positivity to your workplace? Contact us, and let’s discuss how we can support you!
If you'd like to read more on this topic, check out Juho Nenonen's original article on LinkedIn (Original article in Finnish):
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/negatiivisuus-ja-toksinen-positiivisuus-tiimity%C3%B6ss%C3%A4-kohti-nenonen-bsrtf/?trackingId=6T6c9Rn0Sgex8%2BIYJob9tg%3D%3D
